Happy 48th Birthday Malaysia (31/8/2005)

Somebody asked me today, “Tak pasang bendera ka? Merdeka Day is coming” I asked that guy. “What the hell for?” I know Merdeka day is coming already but is that really necessary. To show how much we respect our country and how much we really “enjoy” being independent or to show that we are being partiotic.

Is it enough for us to “kibarkan” jalur gemilang to celebrate Independence Day? Or is it enough for us to paint our car with jalur gemilang motives for us to really appreciate Independence Day? Does it really show and bring out the patriotism in us? Or are we less patriotic if we don’t do such things?

I mean we see some people (especially the younger generations) carrying flags and painting their car (I have seen this) with the jalur gemilang and shouting merdeka, merdeka, merdeka. But do they have any clue about what merdeka is all about? Do they have any clue the struggles those people in the past have to go through? So that they can shout merdeka, merdeka, merdeka comes 31 August. What’s the meaning of this anyway?

Before we look at the whole story of independence, let us see who have colonized us and how we were colonized by the foreign powers. Led by Alfonso de Albuquerque the Portuguese first came to the Malay peninsular in the year 1511. That was the year the Malacca Sultanate Empire fell to the hand of the Portuguese and the Portuguese started to build their settlement in Malacca and introduce the Portuguese egg tart to us (I made up this part). The Portuguese are in the east to conquer none other than the spice trade and for some years until 1641, they controlled much of the spice trade in the far-east region.

Then in 1641 came the Dutch. Remember the bright red building in “Bandar Melaka”? Well, that was one of the buildings that the Dutch have left behind. Nevertheless, during the Dutch occupation, the spice trade as well as other trade in Malacca had decline so much until there’s nothing much left to be brought to the Netherlands. The only focus at that moment during the Dutch occupation was the safety of the spice route and the elimination of the competitors in the spice trade. Nevertheless, the Portuguese and the Dutch occupation didn’t bring very much impact on the Malay Peninsular except for some cultural matters and may be language.

Then came the British. British conquest came very much at the same time as the industrial revolution in Europe. The dawn of the British occupation came when the Sultan of Kedah, after being persuaded by Sir Francis Light agreed to cede the island of Penang to the Queen (or was it King at that time? Don’t blame me as I was not born yet at that time) and Sir Francis Light gladly named the island the Prince of Wales Island (as if the island has no name before. I don’t understand these British people, they must “kacau” and change things). Then the occupation spreads to Malacca, which was occupied by the Dutch at the time being and then finally after the Anglo-Dutch Treaty in 1824, the British came to occupy Temasek or now better known as Singapore. These British occupied territories are known as the Straits Settlements.

So many things changed during the British occupation including the introduction of the English law in the Straits Settlements. The first introduction of the English law took place with the introduction of the 1st Royal Charter of Justice in 1807 and followed by the 2nd Royal Charter of Justice and the subsequent 3rd Royal Charter of Justice. That was the first step which was taken by the British to safeguard their interest in the Straits Settlements.

Not being fulfilled with that later came the period when the British meddled with the Malay States. First they came with an offer to help the Perak people to solve their problem. With a little strange but unique way of choosing their king, the royalties were having problem in their political standings. At the same time, two clans, the Gee Hin and Hai San (they do mining) were fighting with each other. To solve these matter, the Sultan of Perak to be, Tengku Abdullah sent an SMS to the British. Thus, the British willingly lend their help and the Pangkor Treaty 1874 was signed. Among the terms of the treaty was: -

i) Raja Abdullah was acknowledged as the legitimate Sultan to replace Sultan Ismail who would be given a title and a pension of 1000 Mexican pesos a month (simply give pesos why can’t you give other currency?).

ii) The Sultan would receive a British Resident (which means the Sultan was going to be the puppets only) whose advice had to be sought and adhered to in all matters except those pertaining to the religion and customs of the Malays.

iii) All collections and control of taxes as well as the administration of the state had to be done under the name of the Sultan but arranged according to the Resident's advice (means British get some).

iv) The Minister of Larut (not Dato' Raja Ahmad Zainuddin bin Raja Omar) would continue to be in control, but would no longer be recognized as a liberated leader. Instead, a British Officer, who would have a vast authority in administrating the district, would be appointed in Larut (meaning that he has no power anymore la).

v) The Sultan and not the British government would pay the Resident's salary (British capitalize on all our resources, put their adviser and still ask us to pay).

Then, per the terms of the Pangkor Treaty, J.W.W. Birch was appointed as the first British Resident in Perak. But he was not well received in Perak. The act of taking shower in the nude on the riverbanks irritates the eyes of most malay dignitaries including Maharajalela. To Maharajalela the scene of a British middle-aged man taking a bath in the nude from his window was not interesting after all. Thus, he told his “kaki” to go and fix the situation and the “kaki” did as instructed (yes I concocted the story line but the story was true).

(The Malays hated the idea of other people colonizing them and during this period they started to stand and fight against the British. There were those who fought even before)

The Pangkor Treaty was later the basis of the formation of the Federated Malay States, and then came the Unfederated Malay States so on and so forth. After several years, these British “gentlemen” think that was not enough. Came the idea of Malayan Union which was totally rejected mostly by the people in Tanah Melayu. UMNO was formed and later other political parties rises to fight for independence.

Oh darn, I forgot all about the Japanese occupation. Ok, during the height of the Meiji Empire (no more Samurai. The last one was Tom Cruise. Hah hah..), Japan extended their empire by first conquering Manchuria (it is situated north of China but not Russia/Siberia). Then the empire spreads to the South East Asia including the Malay Peninsular. Some of us were tortured and most of our ancestors, including my grandparents almost starved. The conditions were not heavenly at that moment. Rice is luxury. Most people eat “ubi kayu” (tapioca).

For about 5 years the Japanese stayed in our country and then left after they were defeated basically in the Pacific region to the U.S (the superpower to be). Then in 1945 once the Japanese signed the “papers”, the British w**** who left the locals to fight and shoo the Japanese away comfortably came to “rule” us again. Then the story of Malayan Union came.

The idea of the Malayan Union was first expressed by the British in the aftermath of World War 2. A British “gentleman” by the name of Sir Harold MacMichael was assigned the task of gathering the Malay state rulers' approval for the Malayan Union. In a short period of time, he managed to obtain the entire Rulers’ signatures through intimidation. Therefore, on 1 April 1946, the Malayan Union officially came into existence with Sir Edwand Gent as its first governor. The capital of the Union was Kuala Lumpur (Putrajaya came way later).

The Malays opposed the creation of the Union. The opposition was mainly due to the way Sir Harold MacMichael acquired the Sultans’ signatures, the Sultans’ powers were reduced and the offering of citizenship to “pendatang asing” mainly the ethnic Chinese because their economic dominance was seen as a threat to the economic development of the Malays.

The British was forced to scrape the Malayan Union idea from the board due to tremendous internal pressure inside the Malayan Union, the British finally conceded to the local opposition. The Malayan Union ceased to exist on 31 January 1948.

After the short rule under the Malayan Union, Persekutuan Tanah Melayu which recognised the position of the Malays (not other people) as the definitive people of Malaya as well as outlining stricter conditions on the granting of citizenship. This was basically the outline of which Malaysia now was based upon.

Since Mahatma Gandhi and Jawarlal Nehru had managed to plead to the British and negotiate the independence of India somewhere in 1945, on 2 January 1956, a delegation lead by the late Tunku Abdul Rahman Putra Al Haj left for England with the same hope of being freed from the colony. On 18 January 1956, the negotiation started and on 6 February 1956, after plundering away most of our resources and taking away most of our ways of life and not forgetting those who meddle with our culture, the “Merdeka Agreement” was duly sign, sealed and delivered (oh… yeah) which lead to the independence of Tanah Melayu on 31 August 1957.

The story can go longer but I am cutting it short. What’s the point of me giving the whole story of our country? My intention was and still is to remind us that we have come a long way and we (not us but our ancestors rather) have fought so many battles and walk thousands of miles to come to this point. Many have died since some of their names were remembered and mentioned in our History textbook but many of them were not mentioned and some of them do not even been buried properly. Therefore, is it wise for us just to run with a piece of flag shouting “Merdeka, Merdeka, Merdeka” and not seeing and knowing the struggles our ancestors have to endure during the British, Japanese, British, Dutch and Portuguese occupation and/or colonization. We complain about the fuel increase (not that I am suggesting that we should take it totally) but least we remember the fight and those who departed to bring independence and left us to enjoy a free country.

We are still running here and there searching, for what? I am not sure but we have to remember why we were colonized for some time not long ago and the reasons that bring us back here. Those people who fought for the country’s independence were the patriots, not us who swam across the English Channel (they were those who managed to swim across the channel before) or those who conquered the great Mount Everest (Edmund Hillary has done it. So what’s there to be proud of, we were beaten in the race anyway in mean any human being who has the will to do so is able to do it and I don’t know how many times the sherpas went up and down the mountain all these while) or even those went to Antartica or Antartic (research or whatever reason I don’t know. The money spent to send these people there can be used for other purpose like feeding the poor and needy). Those who are willing to fight for the country are the patriots now not those who fled at the first sight of trouble.

Those who realized the significance of independence were the patriots not us who ran around here and there for nothing and those who are thankful for the state of affairs we are in now are the patriots and not those who are waiting to get the best of our country. Sucking away and taking “advantages” like ticks and if that’s the case we are no better than those who colonized us. So let’s join hand to ensure that our country remain independent and do let those buggers come back and tell us what to do the way our “leaders” were asked to. It was not beautiful.

In addition to that, let us be a true Malaysian all the way (in addition to be a good Muslims which is paramount), let us be patriotic always (not only by sticking flag on the hood of our car and on the bikes) and let us be thankful for what we have today all the time not only when Merdeka comes and during the Merdeka month.

The way I remember it

A local tabloid reported that there is division among the local and foreign in the International Islamic University Malaysia (“IIU”). The rector Prof. Dr. Mohd Kamal Hassan was quoted to say that the local did not interact with the foreigners because they are not fluent in English, or they fear that they will loose their “malay” identity and they feel inferior or embarrassed to converse with the foreigners.

I spent 6 years there in IIU reading law. Two years in the matriculation center (what a waste of time) and another four years completing my degree. I’d like to underline here that there is no such things as the local are embarrassed or feel inferior or the local are afraid to loose their “malay” identity (do we have one after all?). We interact as usual. No divisions as reported and yes some of the times we do go by the nationality but most of the times we are together. We live together in one dormitory and we are in the same class.

If he says we are lacking in our English, then it is quite weird because the medium of instruction in IIU is English. It is impossible to say that the students didn’t know at least how to have a decent conversation with the foreign students. May be the way they speak not as good as the rector’s English (it’s Queen’s English by the way) but we know how to crack jokes and tell people how we feel. That’s enough I supposed.

We feel inferior? I mean what the “heck” the rector’s talking about? We never feel inferior around them nor we were embarrassed to talk and be with them. May be he’s the one who feel that way and generalizing that all students are like that. May be there are some who are not open to others (mostly from the same state as he is who have their own “nationality” and sorry if this is a little insulting to certain quarters but rally they have their own community and most of them to me are retarded group of people) and have some of those types of students who refuse to interacting but most of us are good to each other.

As I remember it correctly, we played football together on one field and we eat together in one canteen and we watched EPL together. I have friends from Gambia, Djibouti, Ghana, the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia, Aceh, Germany, China, USA, Afghanistan, Iraq, Turkey and Sudan. I learn how to converse in their language (mostly Arab, a little French, Mandarin, and German etc. Not much but enough to greet then in the morning) and they are eager to learn our language and our culture. I had brunch at the Albanian stall (you should taste the lamb stew and the freshly baked bread). I remember Hassan (he’s from Djibouti and staying in the room next to mine) asking me what bee is in malay because he saw a swarm of bees behind his room. I told him bee in malay is cucork kodok (jemput-jemput pisang). So he went all day saying he saw cucork kodok behind his room. I corrected him at the end of the day but it was fun. But the point is that they are eager and they want to know how we speak and how we live here in our country.

Not only that, for us locals, we participated in most of the programs organized by the foreign students and most of the time we didn’t even understand some of the things done there. But in the spirit of having a multi-national community we did it anyway. Not only that, one of my friends from Germany is married to a local girl now. A Sarawakian. If the rector is saying that we don’t interact with each other and there’s division among the student, how on earth this people even get together what more getting married? But they are happily married now and I met Muqasim couple of months ago at KLIA. He told me he’s staying in France now with his wife and kids.

So, the rector’s word in this matter can be rejected (not totally becuase may be there’s some truth in it) and if there is such division, may be IIU can work towards bringing their local students and foreign students together from now on and in the future. If there were such local students in IIU now, I’d rather make friends with the foreigners. Enough with the division between local. I mean between one state to another. Why? because a person from the rest of the states in Malaysia can't understand what are the Kelantanese is saying or other people don't understand what I say most of the time (I am from Kedah and I have very "heavy" Kedah slang, so most of the time I would speak in English).

Furthermore, I think the rector and the staff should spend more time with the students and then they’ll know what is really happening in IIU.

Wow of the day...

We watch so many leaders in action and so many movies along the way. Online test I did a moment ago tells me that I am this classic movie and I would be him if I am a leader : -

What Classic Movie Are You?
personality tests by similarminds.com

What Famous Leader Are You?
personality tests by similarminds.com

Women anatomy and sex?

What I write in here sometimes reflected much on what I discussed with my associates in the office or my friends during lunch. Thus, while having lunch today with my uni-mate downstairs, we are all ears on a topic, which was discussed by the ladies who were sitting right behind us. All four of them have indulged themselves on a topic regarding their boy friends.

Nothing much about their boyfriends but it is funny rather than anything else because the discussion about their boyfriends turns into discussion about men in general. One of them asked. “Why some men can’t stop looking at a particular anatomy of a women?” At that juncture, I fell like answering the question. But I didn’t. Darn….

Well, let me put some of my answer here. First of all, it is normal for men to like certain anatomy of a woman. For example, the bosom, bum and/or legs (that’s crap, you like her legs? Chickens have legs too). At least that’s what I think. If I like to look at some other men’s bum, it is not normal right? So, let us be normal here. It is ok to like them. We are men and men will always be men.

I remember an incident I had years back when one of my lady friends caught me talking to her bosom rather than talking to her. Was that my fault? I would take the blame partially but let me stress here that the incident was not intentional. Her “thing” was just there to look at. You know when somebody’s body part is just there to look at and at least I know that I’m straight (Don’t think that I am some dirty young man with nothing to do but that’s the fact. If you don’t trust me, ask Base).

So, let’s just not put all the blame on men or any man as a matter of fact. It is the natural way men are made to be and they come with the “software” that are compatible with their needs. Furthermore, I like to say this over and over again. Men have certain limit of blood supply and too many parts to fill. When the blood rush from the other parts of men’s body to only one part (you know which part), the other part of the body especially the brain will just stop functioning. Sometimes, we are just mesmerized by what we see and sometime we want more. Some men will just stop at looking and the other will try to push his luck (some gets it and some have to go back and start the choke the chicken. Seriously I pity the chicken).

We continued listening to the ladies and the next topic changes from men to none other than sex. Not “sex” which brings the meaning gender as one may come across when one is filling an application form. Questions like how many times would you have sex in one week or one night came across the table (mind you this is a “kedai mamak”). I draw a conclusion that the ladies were either deprived or they are just virgins waiting for the time to go through it. Come on don’t judge me yet (even if I judged the ladies straight away). Let me finish first. See, I have heard some people (married) who have not had it for some time. Thus, the questions would be not how many times but how long ago did you have it? Right?

I read an article (or was it a book) and the conclusion was as long as you are having healthy sexual relations with your partner (I use the word partner here because your partner may be your wife and/or your mistress/girlfriend(s)/concubine (do they still exist?)), then it is considered good already. You don’t have to do it until your parts feel sore. May be for newly weds but don’t worry it is normal.

So, how many times is considered healthy sexual relation? Once a week? Twice a week? Three times a week? Three times a day? (read this somewhere too) or 365 times a year? It all depends on the couple. Some like it everyday. Some like it one a week or some couple are too tired to go and do it so they only have each other once each month.

Anyway, this is just a thought gathered from what I read. Some writers may have other opinions and for us, just go and grab every opportunity that we have each day.

Mango Tree Memories

I had this conversation with a person regarding neighbours and the topic came to the fact that our house was not fenced. It was an excellent intention. No fence and the people living there would interact with each other more. At least that’s what the authority thought. But the result was the total opposite of the real intention of the authorities. We seldom talk to our neighbours and all we do was go home went into the house and close the door and the door will not open not until the next day.

But I did talk to my neighbours when I have the time and when we were around doing the garden et cetera. But the person I have this conversation with didn’t agree with me when I pointed out the real intention and he says, “We are just not ready to live the way the westerners live. I agree not because I am agreeing to what he is saying but I just don’t want to prolong matters or even the conversation. What’s the point of having a conversation when you are not allowed to give your views? It will bring you to a point where the conversation was void.

If we think about this matter I am telling you now, we would realise that malay houses in the rural areas don’t have fence. It has always been that way since time immemorial. See I don’t think Hang Tuah has a house with a fence (but if you watch P. Ramlee’s movies, most of the houses have fences even Nujum Pa’ Belalang’s house).

I still remember back in the old days (not that old since I am not that old either but old enough to tell this story) in the kampong at my grandmother’s place (where I spent most of my time when I was small) we use to have this “evening conference” under a mango tree on a “pelenggark” (well it is a Kedahan’s word for a public sitting place where several people can sit on it. Usually it will be under a tree near the paddy field or in normal Bahasa Melayu, is it “wakaf”? please correct me if I’m wrong here). Since those who lived in the parameter of the pelenggark were related to each other, thus, the topic of the conversation would range from family matter to family problems and national matter (who said people in the kampong do not know what is happening to the world).

My grandmother, Tok Puteh (for those who read my blog earlier would know who Tok Puteh is), is a regular among those who commune on the pelengark. There were Tok Ndak (Tok Puteh’s sister in law and has passed away), Tok Lang (Tok Puteh’s other sister in law and has passed away also (she makes good “pulut inti” and “pulut udang”), Mak Tam, Mak Teh, Mak Su, Long Kiah, Teh Aishah, Mak Su Pah (all Tok Puteh’s nieces) and my mother on the pelenggark at times. Sometimes the men would join the group. Tok Puteh and Tok Ndak were almost 75 or 80 years old at that time. They were the “advisers” to all the matters in hand. All things, this and that but as the elderly, people come to seek advice from them.

The best thing about the evening meeting was the food. Mak Tam will bring “cucork udang” with kuah kacang and tea from her kitchen and sometimes Mak Teh (Mak Tam’s sister) would make her famous “tepong talam” (she sells this some time ago) and coffee and how I miss Tok Lang’s pulut inti and pulut udang. Oh my God, the foods were wonderful. The event was more or less like hi tea event for kampong folks but lesser budget though. Hi tea in Hilton’s “Paya Serai” would cost triple the price compared to hi tea on the pelanggark and it is more fun. Fresh air (at that time I think we are still haze free), fantastic view (ok the view was only my grandmother’s house and tok ndak’s house but what the heck it was fun) and not forgetting the fond memories I had with Tok Puteh, Tok Ndak and Tok Lang.

Believe it or not, weddings, trips, and other events were planned and discussed on the pelenggark. Well at least most of my second cousin’s wedding plans were discussed here. Luckily the meminang ceremony or the akad nikah was not done on the pelenggark. If not I would apply to the Museum and Antiquity Department and ask them to certify the pelenggark as one of the “National Treasure”.

But now, it is about twenty years later, the pelenggark is no longer at the place where it used to be same as the elders like Tok Puteh, Tok Ndak and Tok Lang becuase they have left us behind. Mak Tam is still around but not that young anymore and I have since then completed primary school, secondary school and graduated from Law school. The mango tree is the only thing left there keeping all memories of those people who commune under her long time ago. Once in a while, I look at the mango tree and try to figure out the memories that it has with her, the memories it kept and the memories I have and kept with me when I was growing up then in the kampong.

p/s: the mango tree is something like the old grandmother willow tree in Disney's Pocahontas.