Why Bosses Are Arseholes

Many people complained their bosses are arseholes. Some say they can’t stand their bosses. But you can’t run from the fact that bosses are arseholes and they are supposed to be one.

The line of fact reminds me of the story my late father objected very much when people started to call him boss. He kept on telling me until somehow or rather, it is engraved in my head and no doubt it has no truth in it whatsoever, but it explains very much why bosses are arseholes.

The Story

On one fine day the limbs and organ of human body had a meeting to discuss several matters. There were brain, eyes, nose, mouth, tongue, lungs, hands, stomach, legs and of course the arsehole. So they began the meeting with all the limbs and organ telling everybody their functions and what are their contributions to the human body.

Eyes started saying I see things and thus human are able to see, evaluate and enjoy the nature and beauty of the world and universe as a whole. The rest of the body says, yes, that’s true.

Then, the lungs says, I process the air human being breathe in and for that human being are able to have oxygen supply to the entire body. Yet again the whole body says yes, that’s true. On and on the entire body and limbs tell their functions and all of them agree that each of the limbs and organ have their own function.

Then the brain says, of all the functions, my contribution to the human body is the greatest and due to that, I will have to become the BOSS among all the limbs and organs in the human body. However, hand says, if hand refuse to follow brain’s instruction, then there nothing the brain can do. So human being are not able to grab thing or even feed themselves.

But, the legs say, “Wait a minute, I’m supposed to be the Boss among us”. He claimed, “If I don’t walk to the place human being wanted to go, then they are not able to go to the canteen or to work”. Then the lungs says, “if I don’t process the air human breathe in, then nobody can get oxygen from the air”.

Then the rest of them argued and tell the other limbs and organs their reasons why they are supposed to be the Boss until our little friend the arsehole says, “Hey, don’t forget me. If I don’t shit, nobody will be able to do things they are supposed to do”. All the human body organs and limbs laughed at arsehole. They say arsehole’s contribution not as great as theirs.

So arsehole says, “Okay then, from now on I will refuse to shit”. So days after days arsehole hold to his words and not shit. The whole body become weak, in pain so on and so forth. The worst is the stomach who came to the point until it can’t bear the bloated feeling anymore and that cause the brain to cease function because of the agony. When the brain stops working, the rest of the limbs and organs follow suit and finally the entire human body shut down because the arsehole refuse to shit.

At that moment, the brain says, “O arsehole, if you release us of this agony, we promise we make you Boss. Not any Boss but THE BOSS”, and arsehole agreed and went shitting. All the body limbs and organs went back to normal and thank arsehole. From that day on, the limbs and organs called arsehole “BOSS”.

The End

Moral of the Story

1) Bosses are arseholes; and

2) They are full of shit.

p/s.

Dear Staff,

Please refrain from calling me BOSS.