Don't kiss my hand, will ya
King Abdullah, the new King of the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia decreed that people should stop kissing his hand because the act of kissing hand of another person is unIslamic and against the Islamic teachings.
Couple of days later, scholars in our country answered and highlighted to Muslims that the act of kissing one’s hand does not contravene any Islamic teachings and it is basically allowed subject always that the act of kissing one’s hand does not bring the meaning of worship.
However, for the fun of it, let us look at the act itself. In our community, the act of kissing one’s hand was intended to show first of all respect to the other person. And we see children kissing parents hand, or the young kissing the elders’ hand. But would it also mean one submit to the other when the person kisses the other person’s hand. I give you the scenario of a wife kissing her husband’s hand. Is it an obligation? Or it was just what people do since Hang Tuah’s time? Does it tantamount to the act of submission to the person? In addition to that, I was having this question for quite a while now. In the Malay society, I don’t know why and for whatever reasons, a woman is supposed to kiss her fiancé’s hand. Why is that? I mean, the lady is not even your wife yet and the act shows? Submission to that person or just mere respect? These are among the questions which we should answer before we go on with the tradition.
Frankly, I was only introduced to this “tradition” when I got married (That was not totally correct. I kissed the hand that slapped me and it is not my parents however that would be another story). Before that, shake of the hand or “bersalaman” (as we know it) is sufficient for me. And we do the Arab thingy also. You know kissing on the cheek (muhram only). I asked myself, is the practice allowed long before King Abdullah raised the issue.
My opinion would point the fact that in our community, kissing one hand is just a mere gesture of respect or showing gratitude and nothing more. But be careful with those who kiss one’s hand to kiss ass. They are just not the people to be friend with. Why I say it is not a gesture of submission (I don’t know whether some people would think it is a sign of submission)? Well, if we look at the scenario, the hands that we kissed were our fathers’, mothers’, grandparents’, prominent leaders’ (may be for another reasons as well) and also the elderly. It is not that we submit to them and they are human like us too. If we say it is a kind of submission, then the person must be somebody like “Ayah Pin” or someone bigger.
But if we were to look at the story in the Holy Quran, when Allah first created Prophet Adam, all angels were ordered to prostrate to Prophet Adam (of course to the disagreement and objection of the Devil). But the prostration here is not meant that Allah wants the angels to worship Prophet Adam. The prostration here is the show of respect.
Thus, coming back to the hand-kissing practice, I hold the view after looking into the Prophet Adam creation’s story, and analyzing the circumstances which may lead to one kissing the hand of the other that the practice is allowed subject always that the act of kissing hand is not intended to demonstrate one submission to his fellow human being rather to demonstrate our respect towards that person and sometimes our show of gratitude. But I still don’t understand the advice some people gave to their daughter once they are engaged i.e. kiss your fiancé hand. May be not all but I have witnessed the instances where the mother say, "Hah Semah, salam dengan Mat tu, cium tangan dia. Dia tu nak jadi laki kau tu."
Couple of days later, scholars in our country answered and highlighted to Muslims that the act of kissing one’s hand does not contravene any Islamic teachings and it is basically allowed subject always that the act of kissing one’s hand does not bring the meaning of worship.
However, for the fun of it, let us look at the act itself. In our community, the act of kissing one’s hand was intended to show first of all respect to the other person. And we see children kissing parents hand, or the young kissing the elders’ hand. But would it also mean one submit to the other when the person kisses the other person’s hand. I give you the scenario of a wife kissing her husband’s hand. Is it an obligation? Or it was just what people do since Hang Tuah’s time? Does it tantamount to the act of submission to the person? In addition to that, I was having this question for quite a while now. In the Malay society, I don’t know why and for whatever reasons, a woman is supposed to kiss her fiancé’s hand. Why is that? I mean, the lady is not even your wife yet and the act shows? Submission to that person or just mere respect? These are among the questions which we should answer before we go on with the tradition.
Frankly, I was only introduced to this “tradition” when I got married (That was not totally correct. I kissed the hand that slapped me and it is not my parents however that would be another story). Before that, shake of the hand or “bersalaman” (as we know it) is sufficient for me. And we do the Arab thingy also. You know kissing on the cheek (muhram only). I asked myself, is the practice allowed long before King Abdullah raised the issue.
My opinion would point the fact that in our community, kissing one hand is just a mere gesture of respect or showing gratitude and nothing more. But be careful with those who kiss one’s hand to kiss ass. They are just not the people to be friend with. Why I say it is not a gesture of submission (I don’t know whether some people would think it is a sign of submission)? Well, if we look at the scenario, the hands that we kissed were our fathers’, mothers’, grandparents’, prominent leaders’ (may be for another reasons as well) and also the elderly. It is not that we submit to them and they are human like us too. If we say it is a kind of submission, then the person must be somebody like “Ayah Pin” or someone bigger.
But if we were to look at the story in the Holy Quran, when Allah first created Prophet Adam, all angels were ordered to prostrate to Prophet Adam (of course to the disagreement and objection of the Devil). But the prostration here is not meant that Allah wants the angels to worship Prophet Adam. The prostration here is the show of respect.
Thus, coming back to the hand-kissing practice, I hold the view after looking into the Prophet Adam creation’s story, and analyzing the circumstances which may lead to one kissing the hand of the other that the practice is allowed subject always that the act of kissing hand is not intended to demonstrate one submission to his fellow human being rather to demonstrate our respect towards that person and sometimes our show of gratitude. But I still don’t understand the advice some people gave to their daughter once they are engaged i.e. kiss your fiancé hand. May be not all but I have witnessed the instances where the mother say, "Hah Semah, salam dengan Mat tu, cium tangan dia. Dia tu nak jadi laki kau tu."
posted by Kampong_Boy at
2:00 pm
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