Grandma White
As I was having my lamb stew with a large bit of corn bread (from the Albanian store) and a glass orange juice (which is always free for me) at the cafeteria at the Kulliyyah of Economic six years ago, Shahbina (my second cousin) came running and hug me. I was thinking to myself, what the h*** he’s up to. Tears running down from his eyes as I wonder what were the bad news was. Did my girlfriend tell him that we broke up? (We broke up earlier, so that is not a possible answer) Or was it something else? He broke the news and whisper slowly into my ear: -
“Tok Teh dah tak dak. Tadi pukul 10.00 pagi” (Tok Teh refers to my grandmother and we refer her as Tok Puteh or Grandma White@ Mdm White as she was extremely fair. Her real name is Radziyah Bt Ismail)
My grandmother was 90++ years of age at that time. I froze as I didn’t know how to react at that particular moment. I knew I lost somebody so dear to me. I was stunned, sad, and speechless and I didn’t know what to do. The only word that came out from my mouth was “tok”. That was it. No other words.
My feet froze and the food didn’t look that good anymore. I didn’t expect that to come. At least I did not expect that for another ten years. But Allah loves her more than we love her and there she went.
I ran quickly to my room, took my toothbrush and some undergarments and off I flew to Sungai Petani (I didn’t take the plane but drove all the way and it took me about 2 and ½ hour to get there. That’s why I say I flew there)
I reached Kg Permatang at approximately 1.00 p.m. All my relatives were preparing her for the funeral. I looked into the house and everybody was wearing a gloomy face. At that moment I was still didn’t know how to react. My youngest brother who fights all the time with my grandmother was at a corner looking at my grandmother’s cold body quietly (he remains quiet for almost two weeks after that).
Cu was at another corner weeping away with Memi (my other aunt). I looked into her small room and I saw a glimpse of my grandmother’s cold body on her bed and I know for sure that she gone forever leaving us the children, grandchildren and great grandchildren for eternity. It was just one week before Aidil Adha.
I spent the whole Ramadhan with her as her health was not good as usual. I fed her for iftar (breaking of fast) and she told me to go slow as she was still trying to swallow the rice I fed her and during that time she always said,
“bila tok mati nanti, jangan lupa sedekah Qulhu banyak-banyak kat tok tiap-tiap hari”
I still hear her saying it until today and I never forget to do so. We spent the Hari Raya like usual. She always says that we must make ketupat for Hari Raya. She told my father. “Nanti anak cucu nak mai makan apa?” so we must have ketupat, rendang and beef curry for Hari Raya.
Back to the day, my father told me that she could not swallow her food during breakfast and my father had to take it out from her mouth as her time has come. She told my father, “My time has come, and please forgive me”.
My brother, who was at home, took her to the bathroom (as she asked my brother to take her there to take a bath) and she fell there as she could not walk anymore. My brother then carried her and put her on my bed at home and she took her last breath there. At all times, her mouth never stopped saying the name of Allah and never stopped saying the ‘kalimah shahadah’. It was easy for her and she went peacefully.
My flashback was interrupted when my cousins carried my grandmother’s body into the coffin. I gave her the last peck on her cheek. Her face was same only a little pale and of course no more words coming out from her mouth telling me how to go on with my life. She looks like as if she was smiling as they closed the coffin and we took her to the mosque for the last prayer for her then straight to the last stop before she starts her new journey. By 6.00 p.m. we left our grandmother next to her brother (who passed away nearly 20 years earlier) to rest forever.
My jeans and my shirt were covered with mud and dirt from the grave and I need to take a bath and rest.
Right after the funeral, I went back to our house in Sungai Petani to freashen up since my grandmother’s place was not the place to ease down and take a bath. There I was driving alone back to Sungai Petani. I looked into the rear view mirror and remembered the time when my grandmother used to sit at the back seat whenever she wants to go to our place in Sungai Petani or whenever she’s forced to go there.
At that moment, I broke down and cried (I didn’t cry earlier sebab macho la konon, until that particular moment) knowing that she will not be at the back seat anymore telling me to stop at the goreng pisang stall. She will not be at the back seat anymore to tell me to send her back to her house after she has finished her business at our house even if it was only for one day. I am going to miss that moment with her forever.
The moment where she told me all the stories, the stories about where we came from, stories about my grandfather (I never met my grandfather because he passed away when my father was 5 years old) and stories about my father. I am going to miss that entire thing but most of all; I am going to miss her. She didn’t give me presents or even money. But why am I going to miss her? It’s the small things that she does. She comforts me when I don’t have anywhere to go (of course the time was when my father scolded me), she cook my favourite dish when I am around, she protect me from my father (when I came back from having a good time with my friends at the river or when I came back late from the football field. She always say “macam hang dulu lah” to my father) and most of all, she was the person who taught me Quran. I finished my first round in front of her and she told me, “ni dah habih baca ni bukan tak payah baca dah, kena baca selalu”.
I remember we always wait for her for dinner because she will recite quran after Maghrib (the evening prayer) till Isyak. That’s her routine. She never says bad things about people and she never makes me feel sad, angry or loss. She was always there me and for her other grandchildren.
It was a huge loss for me. I will miss the nice food she used to cook for us whenever we are there especially during Ramadhan. The entire kampong (well if not the entire kampong, her neighbours then) will get some whenever she makes kuih.
I spent the next two weeks doing nothing but trying to grasp the facts that my grandmother was gone; I even asked another date from my lecturer for my exams which they allow me to do so after looking at me.
Like my youngest brother, I was shock as well. I know what’s going in my brother’s mind because I felt the same. Each of us has that special moment with our grandmother and in fact, all of us including my cousins have their special moments. We miss her dearly. She was the nicest grandmother a person could ever have.
Tok Puteh,
“Al-Fatihah. May Allah bless your soul and put your soul among the souls of the martyrs and the scholars”
“Tok Teh dah tak dak. Tadi pukul 10.00 pagi” (Tok Teh refers to my grandmother and we refer her as Tok Puteh or Grandma White@ Mdm White as she was extremely fair. Her real name is Radziyah Bt Ismail)
My grandmother was 90++ years of age at that time. I froze as I didn’t know how to react at that particular moment. I knew I lost somebody so dear to me. I was stunned, sad, and speechless and I didn’t know what to do. The only word that came out from my mouth was “tok”. That was it. No other words.
My feet froze and the food didn’t look that good anymore. I didn’t expect that to come. At least I did not expect that for another ten years. But Allah loves her more than we love her and there she went.
I ran quickly to my room, took my toothbrush and some undergarments and off I flew to Sungai Petani (I didn’t take the plane but drove all the way and it took me about 2 and ½ hour to get there. That’s why I say I flew there)
I reached Kg Permatang at approximately 1.00 p.m. All my relatives were preparing her for the funeral. I looked into the house and everybody was wearing a gloomy face. At that moment I was still didn’t know how to react. My youngest brother who fights all the time with my grandmother was at a corner looking at my grandmother’s cold body quietly (he remains quiet for almost two weeks after that).
Cu was at another corner weeping away with Memi (my other aunt). I looked into her small room and I saw a glimpse of my grandmother’s cold body on her bed and I know for sure that she gone forever leaving us the children, grandchildren and great grandchildren for eternity. It was just one week before Aidil Adha.
I spent the whole Ramadhan with her as her health was not good as usual. I fed her for iftar (breaking of fast) and she told me to go slow as she was still trying to swallow the rice I fed her and during that time she always said,
“bila tok mati nanti, jangan lupa sedekah Qulhu banyak-banyak kat tok tiap-tiap hari”
I still hear her saying it until today and I never forget to do so. We spent the Hari Raya like usual. She always says that we must make ketupat for Hari Raya. She told my father. “Nanti anak cucu nak mai makan apa?” so we must have ketupat, rendang and beef curry for Hari Raya.
Back to the day, my father told me that she could not swallow her food during breakfast and my father had to take it out from her mouth as her time has come. She told my father, “My time has come, and please forgive me”.
My brother, who was at home, took her to the bathroom (as she asked my brother to take her there to take a bath) and she fell there as she could not walk anymore. My brother then carried her and put her on my bed at home and she took her last breath there. At all times, her mouth never stopped saying the name of Allah and never stopped saying the ‘kalimah shahadah’. It was easy for her and she went peacefully.
My flashback was interrupted when my cousins carried my grandmother’s body into the coffin. I gave her the last peck on her cheek. Her face was same only a little pale and of course no more words coming out from her mouth telling me how to go on with my life. She looks like as if she was smiling as they closed the coffin and we took her to the mosque for the last prayer for her then straight to the last stop before she starts her new journey. By 6.00 p.m. we left our grandmother next to her brother (who passed away nearly 20 years earlier) to rest forever.
My jeans and my shirt were covered with mud and dirt from the grave and I need to take a bath and rest.
Right after the funeral, I went back to our house in Sungai Petani to freashen up since my grandmother’s place was not the place to ease down and take a bath. There I was driving alone back to Sungai Petani. I looked into the rear view mirror and remembered the time when my grandmother used to sit at the back seat whenever she wants to go to our place in Sungai Petani or whenever she’s forced to go there.
At that moment, I broke down and cried (I didn’t cry earlier sebab macho la konon, until that particular moment) knowing that she will not be at the back seat anymore telling me to stop at the goreng pisang stall. She will not be at the back seat anymore to tell me to send her back to her house after she has finished her business at our house even if it was only for one day. I am going to miss that moment with her forever.
The moment where she told me all the stories, the stories about where we came from, stories about my grandfather (I never met my grandfather because he passed away when my father was 5 years old) and stories about my father. I am going to miss that entire thing but most of all; I am going to miss her. She didn’t give me presents or even money. But why am I going to miss her? It’s the small things that she does. She comforts me when I don’t have anywhere to go (of course the time was when my father scolded me), she cook my favourite dish when I am around, she protect me from my father (when I came back from having a good time with my friends at the river or when I came back late from the football field. She always say “macam hang dulu lah” to my father) and most of all, she was the person who taught me Quran. I finished my first round in front of her and she told me, “ni dah habih baca ni bukan tak payah baca dah, kena baca selalu”.
I remember we always wait for her for dinner because she will recite quran after Maghrib (the evening prayer) till Isyak. That’s her routine. She never says bad things about people and she never makes me feel sad, angry or loss. She was always there me and for her other grandchildren.
It was a huge loss for me. I will miss the nice food she used to cook for us whenever we are there especially during Ramadhan. The entire kampong (well if not the entire kampong, her neighbours then) will get some whenever she makes kuih.
I spent the next two weeks doing nothing but trying to grasp the facts that my grandmother was gone; I even asked another date from my lecturer for my exams which they allow me to do so after looking at me.
Like my youngest brother, I was shock as well. I know what’s going in my brother’s mind because I felt the same. Each of us has that special moment with our grandmother and in fact, all of us including my cousins have their special moments. We miss her dearly. She was the nicest grandmother a person could ever have.
Tok Puteh,
“Al-Fatihah. May Allah bless your soul and put your soul among the souls of the martyrs and the scholars”
posted by Kampong_Boy at
11:30 am
5 Comments:
Al fatihah juga dari Kak Teh. Semoga Allah terus mencucuri rahmat ke atas rohnya
Al Fatihah untuk Tok Putih.
May Allah bless her soul and grant her forgiveness and Jannah.
al fatihah utk Tok Puteh.
you wrote it so well...i even missed ur Tok Puteh.
i miss my grandma too..al-fatihah for them and all those who passed away.
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